A Big Kiss

The old lady was sitting next to me and apart from showing two turns of wild pearls from the hiccups, she wore what was previously called a “tipin”: she would not weigh more than forty kilos but she was embedding some lobster of trunk almost as wide as hers.

That is, he was alive and kicking but with his back in straight composure and handling the cutlery with ardor. I understand, although impatiently, that the language is alive and mutates with every stroke of the message of a cell phone, but when a big boy says goodbye to an old woman (pretty, but unpalatally old woman) with a, “Goodbye, a besazo “, the thing starts to worry me. To the lady of the scampi, too, judging by the face that she put of frightened content. His grandson or nephew grandchild surely has learned the “kiss” in the thousands of emails that are sent now without rhyme or reason, and that, that is serious, have camouflaged their parents of them, since both distrust the Internet.

I am a faithful reader of love correspondence, a literary genre, for what I am seeing, in extinction. Also, the simple courtesy is supplanted by things that one day occurred to someone and they have become flesh: “good weekend”!, That would enrage me beyond what I can explain because if you have “end” is that you have work the rest of the week, and if not you are unemployed, to sleep.

The simple ones, “kisses”, “a hug”, etc., without pretensions of intimacy , have also yielded ground to perjifiasis of great kitsch that do not respond even to the truth of the feelings, which are not always so extreme in civilized and vaguely known people.

I threaten from here to respond to “kisses” with a descorteous “papirotazo”, and if they keep insisting they will enter the factory and will make the passionate messenger succumb to embarrassment with a “lick”. But that is already invented among older idlers and lubricious. Patience? No, not this time.

 

Separation and Divorce

Consider your financial position

A separation or divorce is usually associated with additional costs for the court, for the lawyer or for a new apartment. For this reason, both partners may face a financial bottleneck that does not necessarily allow for a premium payment. Draw the appropriate consequences by:

  • Making insurance non-contributory: Some insurance companies offer policyholders to pay no contributions for a certain period of time. In this period, you usually do not enjoy insurance coverage. For some insurance companies, you have to pay for the contributions in one installment after the end of the non-contributory period.
  • Insure insurance: If you leave an insurance, no contributions or payments are due. This is possible, for example, with a life insurance. In this case you can take the insurance back later.
  • Insurance terminate: A very consistent solution is the cancellation of insurance. However, you always have to expect financial losses for products such as life insurance. In other cases, you are subject to notice periods and can not terminate the contract prematurely.
  • Selling insurances: An alternative to the termination is, for example, to sell joint life insurance contracts. However, you should pay close attention to the corresponding offers in order to minimize the losses on sale

Inform all contract partners

If you have split up, you should immediately report the changes to banks and insurance companies. Enter your new address and a possible new bank account. After a divorce, many take their birth name again. In this case, it is also important that the appropriate contract partners are informed. In many cases, you will also receive assistance from your insurance company in case of separation.

Prepare for yourself

When insurance contracts are dissolved or rewritten, it is important to check your own insurance coverage. For example, there can be important supply and security gaps. This applies in particular to liability and disability insurance. Especially you should take care of the health insurance.

Let us advise you!

In a divorce, a lawyer is usually consulted. If you have any questions about your insurance coverage, you can also seek help. It is also possible that you ask your insurance broker for help, if you use this service.

You should check these contracts

There are numerous insurance and financial products that you can take out during a marriage. It is important that you first check the most important policies after the separation. In this section, you will learn what to look for in the case of separation.

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Health insurance

In Germany, health insurance is mandatory for all citizens. For families there is the possibility that spouses and children are covered by the statutory health insurance for free. Prerequisite is that the spouse or children have no income or earn less than 400 euros per month.

In case of disconnection please note the following:

  • Within the separation phase, the spouse remains covered by Paragraph 10 of the Social Security Code V for free.
  • Within one month after the final divorce the co-insurance claim expires.
  • Within three months, the ex-partner must then voluntarily insure by law. He can stay with the same SHI or choose another SHI. She is committed to his admission.
  • If both partners were privately insured, the debtor must pay for the costs of the ex-partner’s private health insurance.
  • Private health insurance of both partners continue unchanged after the divorce. It is important then whether a maintenance obligation exists.

Health care after divorce

If a spouse does not have a social insurance obligation after the divorce and does not have their own health insurance coverage, then the health insurance will apply. In this case, the alimony of the ex-partner must cover the contributions to the health insurance. They then belong to the need for life of the other, who usually also looks after the common children.

After the divorce, the maintenance partner has the right to voluntary insurance in the GKV. If both partners were privately insured, they could insist on taking over the costs of the private health insurance as part of their maintenance.

Special case children

If children were covered by statutory health insurance during the marriage and benefited from the free co-insurance, this claim must be examined in accordance with the conditions of paragraph 10 of SGB V. If there was a private health insurance for the children, it must be clarified in the context of the health care support who takes over the insurance premiums and whether a voluntary statutory or private health insurance is used.

If in doubt, ask a lawyer

The topic “health insurance and divorce” is very complex. It is therefore recommended that you get here professional advice, for example, by your lawyer.

Private liability insurance

If two spouses separate, the common insurance cover of the private liability insurance will be retained for the duration of the separation. Once the divorce is valid, only the policyholder and his children are covered by the private liability. Therefore, it is best to take care of your own insurance cover immediately after a breakup.

Take care of a new insurance right away

If the policyholder has a new partner during the separation phase and he takes this into the insurance cover, the ex-partner is immediately removed from the contract. Thus, it can happen that you do not realize that you are without liability insurance. An early own protection at a separation becomes all the more important.

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retirement

In the case of a divorce, all “pension entitlements” acquired in the marriage are listed in principle. These rights are contributions to the statutory pension insurance or company pension scheme. Each partner then receives a so-called “retirement account” from the partner’s pension provider. The entitlements are then split up on these quotes so that everyone receives half of the total. This division takes over the family court, if no other regulations, for example, were recorded in a marriage contract.

This procedure is also called “supply equalization”. He should ensure that pension rights are distributed fairly among the spouses. In this way, for example, women should not be penalized in a divorce if they had not worked through the parenting. Compensation is valid for both childless couples and couples with children. He also intervenes when the partners have new life partners or married.

These claims are taken into account in the provisioning balance

  • Pensions for civil servants
  • Pension income from the statutory pension insurance
  • Income from occupational supplies of doctors or lawyers
  • occupational pensions
  • Income from Rürup or Riester pensions
  • Income from private pension insurance
  • Private disability, employment or disability insurance

Private pension insurance

Whether private pension insurance is covered by the pension scheme depends on whether it has been completed on a pension or capital formation basis. For pension-based pension insurance, the pension is equal and the spouse has to pay half of the claims to his ex-partner.

The same applies if the policyholder has not yet exercised his or her right to choose (capital or pension).

In case of disbursement of the pension insurance, the compensation falls under the so-called “gain-compensation” and not under the pension scheme. The policyholder then usually has to pay less to his ex-partner.

Riester pension: supplements

If a couple is childless, uses a Riester pension and gets divorced, nothing happens. Both can keep their Riester allowances and continue the contract. If the couple has children, the child receives the child allowance, which also receives the child benefit payments. If the child benefit changes after the divorce, you must report this to both the supplements office and the provider of your Riester pension.

life insurance

After a divorce you should check the contract of your life insurance. It does not matter whether it is a life insurance policy or a term life insurance. It is important who is registered there as a beneficiary. If only the “spouse” was registered, the claim of the spouse with the valid divorce expires. If the name of the spouse was entered there, a change is important.

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gain compensation

You can include the capital growth of your endowment insurance in the profit-sharing scheme. In that case, you have to spend less of your capital on your ex-partner.

Car insurance

After the divorce, the contract of car insurance for the policyholder usually continues normally. So the damage free discount for him remains. If, however, the other partner wants to insure a new car, it is usually classified in the least favorable damage class.

Talk to your insurance company.

Make a call with the car insurance and describe the situation. Often the insurance companies then expect a better SF class.

Household

Basically, in the case of home contents insurance, the insurance coverage with the day of the separation only applies to the policyholder. As soon as the policyholder moves out, he reports the move to his insurer. Thereafter, the household effects of the old and the new apartment is usually insured for three months. After his departure, however, the other spouse is no longer insured.

However, there are insurers who grant two spouses a three-month insurance cover over the household policy after the separation. Unless you are the policyholder, you should immediately take care of a new household insurance.

Adjust the living space

After a separation, the ex-partners usually move first to smaller apartments. Be sure to adjust the floor space and the insurance amount in your policy to save money.

Other insurance

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Legal expenses insurance

If a joint legal protection insurance was used, this applies until the legal divorce for both spouses. Thereafter, only the policyholder is covered. He also keeps the policy. Therefore, it is important that you take care of your own legal protection, if you were previously only insured.

Private accident insurance

If there is a separate policy for each family member, there will be no changes after the divorce. Otherwise, you should change your family accident insurance into individual accident insurance after the divorce and check the subscription right in case of accidental death and change it if necessary.

Home Insurance

The policyholder of the homeowners insurance is legally the owner of the building, which is also registered in the land register. Usually both spouses are registered as owners. Thus, the insurance cover for both partners remains even after the divorce. If the house is sold after the divorce, the building insurance can be transferred to the new owner. He has one month to change the provider or the contract after the purchase.

Transfer of ownership changes insurance coverage

The joint insurance cover exists only as long as both spouses are still owners of the property. If ownership passes to one of them, the insurance expires for the other.

Assets and loans

account

In a joint checking account, action is important. The shared balance is shared as well as common debts. The division is usually made by the court.

assets

If you have been holding time deposits, savings accounts, investments or securities together, they must now be equitably divided.

loans

Not only credits must be distributed, but also loans. For example, make sure that shared mortgage lending is shared fairly.

Clear management of your finances

When sharing insurance, think about all policies. Nobody thinks of divorce at the beginning of a marriage. Nevertheless, you should clearly manage all contracts and policies. Thus, in the case of separation or divorce less effort for both parties.

Here you will find support

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Who has separated from his partner, can get professional support outside of family and circle of friends. This is important for insurance questions or legal issues around joint contracts. In many cases, friends and relatives are subjective and not subject-specific anyway. These instances can help you:

  • Insurance advisor or insurance broker: If you have questions about your insurance coverage or insurance contracts, you can contact the insurance advisors of the respective insurer. They help you to the products of this provider concretely. If you have your own insurance broker, he can assist you as part of his brokerage contract with advice after the divorce. It is also advisable to contact the broker during a divorce process or a separation year. This allows you to make important decisions about your insurance in advance.
  • Lawyer: There is hardly a divorce that is done without a lawyer. Since you are using this legal assistance anyway, you should seize the opportunity and consult your lawyer for help with insurance or contract issues. Many law firms also work with brokers or tax advisors so you can clarify other aspects of your lawyer.
  • Separation forums : If you feel overwhelmed with administrative issues, you can also get help on the Internet in appropriate forums. Note, however, that these advices are usually not legally binding, nor come from professionals. Forums should best be used to keep track of specific issues or to find out about specific questions in advance. When it comes to the concrete implementation, you should later trust your lawyer or the insurance broker or consultant. However, some decisions can not relieve you of these two instances. Thus, the forum remains in the network as a possible help with decision-making issues.
  • Associations, Associations and Support Groups : Support for legal or contractual issues can be provided by many different non-profit groups. For example, those who have children together receive support from associations for single parents. After a short research on the net, you will also find the right association or club in your area. Help can also be provided by church institutions after separations.

Childless in Germany

When I meet former classmates again or after a long time at family gatherings my uncle and aunt again, I am asked again and again: “And, how is it? Is not it soon time for you to start a family? “Even new acquaintances land on the second or third question on the topic at the latest:” Are you married? Do you have children? “My no will often be followed by astonishment. Hardly anyone believes that a woman over 40 can be one hundred percent happy if she does not have a stable relationship and has offspring. Why? It would never occur to me to define the value of other people over it.

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Of course, sometimes I think about my age, about my diminishing fertility. I am 42, probably I will remain childless. But is that so bad? Am I an egoist because I have no children? Does my life miss the point? I think: no! Even if some people want to persuade me something else. I’m fortunate enough to have a job that fills me – and through my success, I can achieve something for others. I believe in the social community and I am absolutely committed to advocate for the next generation. But there are several ways to do that: Some start a family, others find it more useful to volunteer.

Better than compelling children to self-procreate and place them in a world where they are often not really welcome, I believe supporting those children who are already in the world. Many millions of children live in dire need on our planet. That’s why I co-founded the association “Bread and Books”. In this way, we support the education of children in the Third World and help the Erich-Kästner-Kinderdorf in Germany, which gives physically and mentally abused children a new home.

I understand why a state like Germany is interested in having as many children as possible. After all, somebody has to pay the parties, the state budget and later our pension, to look after and feed us as we grow older. But that’s why you should not flirt with a special tax for childless, as some politicians do! As a historian, I can only shake my head. What a hopeless idea … That’s what the Roman Emperor Augustus tried to do when he introduced fines for the childless. What especially increased by this was the number of divorces.

And quite apart from that: The state engages itself too little. Every other day, a child under the age of six is ​​killed in Germany – but to save neglected and abused children, the control organs are lacking in money. The better equipment of kindergartens and schools as well as the appropriate reimbursement of child educators fail because of the money. Instead, Germany invests in armaments, in new tax subsidies for large corporations or agrarian barons. If I make that clear, then I understand all those who do not put children in this country.

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Sure, from time to time there are situations in which I regret not having children. For example, when I watch parents with their offspring in the park on a nice day, I sometimes think, “Oh, it would be nice if I had that too!” But that feeling certainly does not make me walk home, me to the computer and write a desperate ad: “Single woman, 40 plus, seeks father for future children – as fast as possible!” I could have imagined, to be a mother. If I could have been sure: My partner will always be there for his child – whatever happens between us. But this man did not meet me. Childless in Germany

How many women in Germany do not have children?

Of the 44- to 48-year-old women, around 21 percent have no children. Such high values ​​are otherwise only reached in Austria and Switzerland in Europe.
Incidentally, this proportion is significantly lower among older generations: only eleven percent of the 69 to 79 year old women in Germany have remained childless.
Source: Federal Statistical Office

With selfishness my childlessness has nothing to do. It is precisely this prejudice – I am a career woman who only thinks of herself and therefore has no children – that I have often met. I find this argument backward and narrow-minded. Obviously, we have not quite gotten rid of the classic role model yet. It is propagated that women should be selfless, devoting themselves to parenting – everything else is selfish. I ask you (and this is a rhetorical question): Will men who make a career be considered selfish? Emancipation still has a lot to do in this country!

After all: I have the impression that there is a change in society, a process has started, that prejudices against other people are slowly being reduced: We currently have a childless chancellor, who is married for the second time, a foreign minister, the self-confessed homosexual is, and a Federal President, who lives as a pastor in a wild marriage – and this government is considered conservative! That gives you courage for the future, right?

We never give them enough (or the guilt of recent mothers)

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My fellow blogger and runner “Mom, do you stay with the children?” I recommend reading. In it he said:

And she goes and begins to question whether she is doing the right thing or abusing someone. She racks her brains asking and weighing if it’s okay for the children. Google gives you more than three million results by typing “leave the children with the grandparents”. If it is fair with the grandparents. If all this is necessary when you simply want to go running a San Silvestre.

And this is when my post begins, because at least in my case it is indeed like that, and in that of some recent and working mothers that I know too, so I get the impression that it must be something quite frequent .

You are a mother and you have young children in that stage in which they are still madly in love with you (there is no one in the world like Mommy, that few years lasts), it is a mutual love of course. You work , with more or less conciliatory schedules but which prevent you from dedicating yourself exclusively to serving your children. You assume obligatory routine tasks that rob you time: go to pay that fine, collect the coats to the dye when leaving work, go to the meeting of the community of neighbors, take your grandmother to the hospital by car, prepare the declaration of the rent … And you also need for your mental health of your own time , to cultivate a hobby or to practice some sport, to go out for coffee with another adult, to go sometime to dinner and to the movies with your husband.

What ends up happening? Well, as work, pay fines and take the grandmother to the hospital are unappealable obligations, you end up dispensing with many of those own times or carrying them out but with that feeling of guilt of stealing time from your children, from being an egoist who reward your satisfaction above theirs.

It does not matter if you stop to analyze it you see that you are with them every afternoon, that the day you do not bathe with them in matronatation you were playing the playmobil, that every weekend you focus on them and look for joint plans, visits to the zoo, children’s theater, storytelling …

It’s compensation, I know. The levels of compensation reach new levels “if mom had to be on a business trip”.

I have the impression that most of the working mothers (probably also many of those who work at home taking care of them) always have that thorn, that feeling that we never give them enough of us.

But we also need those moments for us.

And the feeling of guilt for the grandparents that we abuse and we talk about another day if you think so.

Reconcile, what a beautiful word.

Pregnant and heartburn

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During your pregnancy you can suffer from an annoying problem: heartburn. This is partly because the sphincter of the stomach relaxes by hormones and on the other hand (later in the pregnancy) by the baby pushing against the stomach. The use of gastric acid inhibitors can provide some relief, but also costs important nutrients, especially vitamin B12.

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Then what? A bite of yellow custard, a cup of milk, a small bowl full of yogurt are good ways to relax the stomach. On the go you can take a bite of dry oat flakes or a pack of dry crackers. This also works wonders! And no extra meals with lots of ingredients (extensive eating out with dessert), coffee, black tea or fried food. They bring the stomach out of balance.

Ginger tea also strengthens the stomach, helps preventively with heartburn and prevents nausea.

A Mother’s Day Dinner Menu That Pulls Out All the Stops

To start, turn pull-apart rolls into mini lobster rolls, one of our favorite appetizer hacks. Then revamp roasted chicken, turn it into an unexpectedly delicious chicken-and-bread salad with spring peas for an impressive main. At their peak sweetness now, baby carrots are delicious roasted and served on top of an addictive herby yogurt sauce with a crumble of feta. Finish the meal with an elegant pistachio-and-rhubarb cake, a perfect spring dessert.

To Start

One of our favorite party tricks is turning pull-apart rolls into mini buns. It’s so simple, and everyone loves them. Just split the tops, stuff with lobster salad, and serve as is—everyone can pull off a roll (or two). Buying cooked lobster makes these adorable appetizers a cinch to make.

Main

Tonight’s main turns a classic dish, roast chicken, into a fancy affair by pairing it with buttery croutons and crunchy sugar snap and English peas. Then, a bright lemony dressing is drizzled over the top to bring the dish together, creating a chicken-and-bread salad. Top with delicate pea tendrils for a refined Mother’s Day look.

MAKE AHEAD: The croutons can be made and the peas cooked the day before; store them separately. Be sure to refrigerate the peas. Keep the croutons at room temperature so they stay crisp.

Side

Here is a side dish that looks and tastes like it comes from a fancy restaurant but is surprisingly easy to make. Spread an herby yogurt sauce on the bottom of the plate, then scatter roasted baby carrots on top. Finish with crumbled feta and a handful of fresh herbs.

MAKE AHEAD: Roast the carrots before you get the chicken started and serve this side at room temperature. The sauce can be prepared and refrigerated up to 2 days in advance.

Dessert

For this special meal, bake a pretty pistachio cake that’s adorned with tart rhubarb pieces. A generous sprinkle of granulated sugar before baking gives the cake a crunchy top. The recipe has a few steps, but they’re relatively simple—and Mom is worth it.

MAKE AHEAD: The cake can be made (and baked) the day before.

Pregnancy is a disease

When I got pregnant with Carlos, they had nausea and vomited a lot. I remember then that my mother-in-law told me one day, that pregnancy for her was like a disease. A state in which the body changes so much, goes through so many phases, good and bad, that it could not be considered as normal. And I was right. All those women who claim that pregnancy is an ideal state or, directly, that it is the ideal state of the woman, make me think that either they have not gone through the “ideal state” , or they have had perfect pregnancies without any Tipon type of complication. But in real life, these are the least, the vast majority have pregnancies with “effects.”

The only good thing that pregnancy has for me is that you are going to be a mother, you are going to have a child, and that compensates every second of the nine months in which you will go through different situations, with the hormones to the fullest. I do everything on almost every occasion. Because when you are pregnant, everything changes : you take on weight and you feel bloated and heavy, you walk clumsy, you become confused, you sweat more and you feel that you smell sweat at any time and place. Because you have a super smell that makes you detest food-places-people because yes, it does not matter if they smell bad or good. Have dark and huge nipples, which do not recognize them, you suddenly come Stras in the belly and thighs when before your skin was smooth as a baby’s bottom, you feel a euphoric moments Trist times You’re exhausted, as if a truck had passed over you, especially at night, and from the sixth month on, sleep begins to be an odyssey, that there are more cushions in your bed than in a bed. Luxury puti.

Sex (almost) disappears, you are hungry at all hours and you eat as if there were not one morning . You become primary: if you are hungry, you want to eat (and �ay! If you do not get fed immediately, you get a bad milk that you do not see), if you are cold, you want to keep warm, if you have sleep, you want sleep (and you could fall asleep anywhere and anytime) And I do not understand all those women who criticize other women, when they lament their situation.

When they say “it’s normal, girl, why do you complain? What did you not know?” WHY NOT, I did not know, like none of you on the other hand (unless you’re a matron and you dedicate yourself to it) It’s IMPOSSIBLE that nobody knows how your pregnancy will be, if it’s going to go wrong or good, If you are going to bleed or have a placental detachment, if you are going to vomit or you will be so happy. It is impossible to know that you will change the character to become an angry person, you’re going to take four showers a day because you always seem strange smell, the feet will swell you so you need a shoe size more, or that you escape the pee at the least sneeze. And even if I had known everything, why can not I complain? Why can not I say how I feel? The important thing is that, as a pregnant woman, I feel loved, supported and understood. It takes a little more feminine corporatism, empathy, and affection, which does not cost so much.

Ne A: Through maternity, for motherhood.

Ne A what is primarily a super team (special mention for Flavie …) available, responsive, friendly and very attentive to the needs and expectations of the future and new mothers who may feel lost among all these product choices of care and baby toilet . Moreover, I have tested several ranges of products since the birth of Chiara – from the most industrial to the most expensive, then the most popular on Instagram to the most confidential … In any case, I tried to select more natural . Of course, I do not always read all the labels of what I consume daily for cruel lack of time (then by laziness too) and then often, I do not understand much. So I always easily trust girlfriends, customer reviews on the Internet, word of mouth and Instagram moms .

A few weeks ago, I was fortunate to receive for Chiara’s birthday the complete range Born in order to test their range of baby care and give you a sincere and objective opinion on these three products.

The brand

Born to offer dermo-cosmetic products baby bio, Made in France and guaranteed without any molecule at risk or endocrine disruptor. The range has been carefully developed in partnership with maternity professionals, and is now used by care teams in these facilities. In your products, no paraben, no phenoxyethanol, no phthalate, no betaine … in short, no endocrine disruptor or molecule at risk. Just sweetness, a formula of very high quality and above all a lot, a lot of love!

Certifications: High Quality Commitments

  • All products of the brand are formulated and made in France
  • 99% of the total ingredients are of natural origin
  • Developed with the greatest respect for people and the environment, the whole range is certified by ECOCERT, ensuring both transparency and traceability. Ecological and biological cosmetics certified by ECOCERT Greenlife according to the ECOCERT standard available on http://cosmetiques.ecocert.com

All products in the dermo-cosmetics range are guaranteed:

Paraben free (endocrine disruptor), without phenoxyethanol (teratogen), without petrochemicals (non-renewable resource), without bisphenol A (endocrine disruptor), without perfume and synthetic dye (non-renewable resources), without betaine (irritant), without sulphate ( irritating and harmful to the environment), alcohol-free (no irritating Ethanol), GMO-free (precautionary principle), no nanoparticles (harmful to the environment), no essential oil, no nuts (allergenic), 100% perfume natural

 

Products

  • Baby washing gel – body and hair – 400 ml Top of the form € 14.50 EUR

This baby washing gel with organic verbena cleans without attacking the lipid film. Used for daily bathing, it also re-hydrates and soothes baby’s skin. Its neutral pH ensures a very gentle formula that respects delicate skin and baby hair. Its pump system allows easy use of the product. 100% natural fragrance

  • Bottom of form Baby cleansing milk – without rinse – 400 ml € 14.50 EUR

The non-rinse baby cleansing milk cleans and rehydrates both baby’s skin. Its formula based on organic shea butter with nourishing virtues and its neutral pH ensure softness and protection to the delicate skin of baby. 100% natural fragrance

  • Baby moisturizer – face and body – 50 ml € 11.50 EUR

This moisturizing baby care formulated with organic calendula is ideal for daily use of the face and body. It nourishes effectively and moisturizes baby’s skin durably, thus ensuring softness and protection. Used daily, this moisturizer is an ideal product for massages. Its neutral pH respects baby’s skin. Its airless technology reduces waste and prevents any alteration of the formula. 100% natural fragrance

My opinion

Thanks (or because) of Instagram, it is very easy to succumb to trends or compulsive shopping. We buy some products because a mom advises us or because we find them just pretty. This was the case for me, since several times, I bought products ( clothes, care, hygiene, childcare …) after seeing them on Instagram. I did not know Born before it was proposed to send me these 3 products to try at home and I was immediately seduced by the kindness of the team. In addition, the fact that their range of care is developed, bonded and used in maternity is very reassuring on the quality of products … The prices are totally affordable unlike other brands that also advocate the “made in France” and the ” 100% natural “. Hard to know where to go …

As for the smell, I know that many parents are sensitive to the “good smell” of care. Often, they wish that it feels good J Here, if you are followers of the big pseudo natural smells of plants or fruits; you will be inevitably sad since the products Born in – being ( really ) totally natural (including the perfume), do not feel “nothing” …. If not … the natural just. A subtle, neutral and pleasant smell and nothing more! For my part, not being a fan of strong perfumes, this aspect does not bother me absolutely – as the skin of my daughter is doing well, it’s all that matters to me.

I have not yet tested the milk because it is not a product that I used to use on Chiara. So I will offer it to a pregnant friend so that she can also enjoy the quality of products Ne A.

I was born to know you. To name you. Freedom.

I have always been close to far with my mother . In hindsight, I think I loved her far too badly. A mother does not deserve to be badly loved. No.

There are several categories of friends. Those we can not live without, those we only appreciate for the good times and those that life takes away from us but that always remain in a corner of our heart – those who have always been there, despite the distance, in the good ones as in the bad times. My relationship with my mother comes down to this last category. Despite our long and intense cohabitation – fusional then completely anarchist – my mother and I have always been very connected. My mother is young, my mother is beautiful, my mother always smiles – even when she is sad and that’s what makes her noticed. She shines wherever she goes. Younger, I too shone but always by my inconstancy.

One day she told me “you’ll see” and I laughed.

No threat had ever worked on me. At eighteen, I was not afraid of anything. I hated authority, rules and laws because at eighteen I felt well above all that. I did not like much except loneliness and silence, and my books that I always read in the dark.

I hated my background, this culture, my parents’ story , my name, my middle name, and my mother’s strong accent.

There is something at Elle that bothered me deeply. Something that prevented me from tracing my path, moving forward, becoming all that I had imagined for myself. There has always been this little thing between us that made it stop me.

I have always dreamed of independence, justice, emancipation and freedom, but I always knew that as a migrant girl , I should fight for the right to one day enjoy all these benefits .

“At home” , it has always been necessary to pay attention to others. Protect them, love them precisely and then, pay attention to what they might say or think of us. Pay attention to the neighbor, to the old gossips of the village, aunts and uncles left there and to all those strangers who could convey a bad image of our family .

These others stole my freedom to think, to be and to become a free woman.

When I was born, my mother was 17 years old and she was not married. Foolishly, I thought that these rebellions (at the time) would play in my favor to win my fight for my individual freedom . I really thought that together we could break the strict and medieval taboos, diktats, codes and rules of our culture. But the one who was then to be my most faithful ally, abandoned me for the benefit of all those others – thieves of freedom.

At eighteen, I was convinced … At eighteen, we all needed to hate someone, to have a scapegoat, a puching ball. At eighteen, it is so easy to hate those who gave us everything and who were always there to pick us up when our skinned knees were on the ground. The one that has always been there is Elle. And despite the violence of my words sometimes, She stayed. Worthy, upright and faithful to herself . My mother always knew how to sweep away my tears and sorrows with her smile . How could she finally hate her?

One day she told me “you’ll understand”   and I smiled.

What was there to understand? I knew that she loved me, that we loved each other. This love can not be explained. But. But I was expecting something else from the “We” we formed when we hugged each other . My struggles against injustice, peace, freedom and equality have gradually become more intense. I have renounced morals, my religion, customs and traditions for a more intense life. I knew love and disappointment, I built dreams before disillusionment prevailed, then I met hope and it was called Florian . Often, I say that we met by chance and always it’s a lie because there is no chance, only appointments *. I chose him, even drunk, it’s him I wanted for life. Florian and I have nothing in common except the love and deep respect we have for ourselves.

I wanted someone completely different to help me become free. Freedom, though written in the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man and Woman , is neither acquired nor innate. It is definitely won by crossing barefoot storms.

And together , we crossed oceans and for me , he moved mountains so that I could reach certain stars. With Florian, I realized that my freedom and my struggles to win it would always transcend borders. It was at that moment that I really liked it and the click in me took place.

The more serious it became between us and the more the question of having children arose. Naturally, under the quilt, entwined and in love because the most intense and wildest discussions always take place in the dark – late at night.

Thinking about this cultural heritage that I will pass on to this imagined child, I suddenly realized that I myself was rich. My pockets and my heart were full of riches to offer, to distribute, to teach, to transmit for tomorrow – so that this child will never forget who I have been.

Chiara arrived a few years later, after 5 or 6 years of deep depression during which I got very close to my mother . She washed my hair and rocked me, sang rhymes from us to reassure me and stroked my back so that I fell asleep. Never, I would have wanted to fall asleep with another language than the one with which she said so well “I love you”.

There is nothing more to say about this passage of my life except that it allowed me to become the companion that I am, the friend that I am, the child of whom I am – the mother and the woman that I am.

10 years later, I can write it – failing to dare to say it: it is by losing a part of myself that I found the other half, the one I missed for so many years years.

I started writing again and when it was necessary to choose a name to present my universe, I instantly chose to call it ElodieJelena . Without point and without dash. I reconnected with the words by linking these two names so that they together form all that I am and all that I wanted to give you to you but also all that I wanted to leave of me to my daughter.

My daughter will be called Chiara Mila . My daughter is Italian and Serbian and she has names that are synonymous with love, clarity and freedom.

A long time ago, soldiers always started their love letters with “Mila Moja” – My Mila. Mila – my tender, my sweet, my long awaited, my beloved.

Around them, the deafening noise of revolutions merges with the songs of their struggles for freedom and peace.

And I sing like them again and again the same song – like that soldier of freedom that I was too …

E the genti, che passeranno
And people, they will pass
E diranno ‘Oh che bel fior’.
And will say ‘Oh what a beautiful flower’.
E questo he fiore Del partigiano
This flower is the flower of the partisan
O bella ciao
O my beautiful goodbye
Ciao, ciao
Goodbye goodbye

E questo he fiore Del partigiano
This flower is the flower of the partisan
Morto for freedom.
Death for freedom.

And if it’s a girl, she’ll be named XX, Bella . Because I’m free now Mom.

Thank you for your smile that so well told me how much you loved me.

… And they will say ‘Oh what a beautiful flower, this flower is the flower of the partisan, O my beautiful goodbye and thank you Mom.

Some people are so poor … all they have is money.

It’s been nine months since F. is a homemaker , an unemployed man. I did not think I had to write that one day. Graduated from a major business school and having obtained an MBA from a prestigious university in New York, we had never considered this case.

We always want the best for those we love. And that worst was not done for him.

Yesterday I heard two men talking in the street. This is what inspired this article. One said to the other that the French no longer divorced because of infidelity. The first cause of divorce today in France is the loss of employment of the family man. He also insisted on the word “man” as for immediately to highlight the improbability of the situation – which obviously put me in a black rage.

I immediately thought of my brother, saying that he would not have liked to hear that – especially not from other males. However, F. does not have an ego problem and his pride is never misplaced; he knows he can always count on me because he counts for me. What is exceptional about this?

Generally, we all love to tell each other how much we love each other – to the moon and beyond, over the stars, forever and ever, but when do we think we are reassured that we can count on each other? I’m not talking about stretching out the shoulder so the other person can cry – I do not mean there: making important financial concessions without blaming the other person, drawing on personal pleasures to offer other pleasures but to an entire family and endure the inevitable taunts about this family building may be too original, modern, atypical for the most stupid of them. Sounds simple? And yet …

My situation, however, is neither original nor singular – my spouse has made the choice to stop being exploited to take advantage of his family and to reconvert himself to a field that would correspond more and that would take into account his skills , his qualities and his level of studies. This decision was the result of mutual agreement and I find it rather daring.

Since the end of his professional activity, my priority is that he remembers every day that we made this decision to two and that his inactivity would not change anything to my love, my respect and my interest for him. If you have been unemployed, you know how easy and fast it is to feel excluded, transparent, useless.

Since he is a homemaker nothing has changed except that he is no longer present – this is the main reason why he stopped working in the field of mass distribution. Yes, I often felt like a single mother and nine months later, all my resentment did not completely dissipate. It was difficult for everyone but I think I was the main victim in this case and our family life (and our couple) were the first collateral damage of this mistake of course of which it is the only one responsible. For a long time I wanted him but let him live the past where he is. After all, he is fine since no one can do anything for him.

Some may, however, imagine that because my spouse is at home all day and does not “work” (as an employee I hear); it does everything and therefore me, I just have to enjoy a tidy apartment, more time for me or for my friends and I enjoy every evening dishes simmered for long hours . It is not so. We often eat “on the go”, we do not always find time to hug and our studio looks like a war zone very quickly. The girlfriends raise me by always leaving the same joke “well you come more to the evenings ?! And I do not remember the last book I read.

Children and time do not spare parents and they are unemployed or doctors.

We relieve ourselves by distributing more or less equal parts of the household chores. Undeniably, he will always do more than me since I am a full-time employee and therefore I work outside the home. Despite my tiredness, the trips, my sometimes stressful days and my mood swings, I try at night to give a few minutes to the storage of the house by doing for example the evening dishes or by passing a blow of brooms – this which allows him to agree 25-30 minutes with Chiara (that we recover at the nanny together every day at 17:30) or to smoke a cigarette alone .

I wished that we spent more time with the family, that Chiara could take full advantage of her dad, that we leave for a romantic weekend or three, have time for my projects but I did not never desired that one is dependent on one another and that one ends up suffocating.

Of course there are moments without, small inequalities can create conflicts, criticisms are easy but excuses have also learned to become so. I reviewed my goals, my dreams, my ambitions downward, each release, each expense is the subject of a long debate, we learn to be content with little, we find pleasure elsewhere and the smallest attentions, those we did not see before, manage to do the same good. Because we only see well with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

It’s been nine months since F. is a housewife, a dad fully there, a spouse who prepares my coffee every morning and hugs me to say hello. Nothing has changed in the bottom if not our happiness. It is simpler, more banal, less extravagant, less demanding and more rational.

Our pockets weigh less and the beautiful landscapes, I see them elsewhere; failing to feel the heat. I know the flavor of each of Picard’s frozen dishes and I wear the only “real” precious jewel that he could offer me as if it were worth a life.

And my life, my life with you, looks like an unfinished picture in the dark colors that the rain would have swept away in soft, pastel hues. Your presence is like a love song in which we can hear “some people are so poor … all they have is money”.