Question 1 from
emommie Noelle:
Ok... I have a question.
Lately, my dh has been traveling a lot so we haven't had much time
to spend together. It seems he's done traveling for now, but
we seem to have fallen into a slump. What do you suggest we
do to liven up our romance? Part of our problem seems to be
that we have three kids, one of which I am still breastfeeding
(making long nights out difficult). I've arranged for a
babysitter for this weekend but I know we'll just go catch a movie
and maybe stop afterwards for a soda (and talk about our kids).
We'll only be out together for four hours. That seems like a
short time... I know we'll have a great time especially since we
don't get to do this often, I just wish we could do something more
romantic. |
Our
advice:
Number one, I suggest you not go to a movie when you are
out together. This is always a fun thing to do, but it's not
a good way to connect with your mate. If your
"dates" are few and far-between, make them memorable.
Use your imagination! There are so many more things to do
than dinner or a movie... consider staying in, and after the kids
go to bed, have a candle-light picnic on your living room floor!
Buy special treats, like strawberries, chocolate, or an exotic
type of cheese, and get a bottle of champagne (or two!).
Another way to connect more deeply with your husband while out for
the evening is to just go "park". It sounds crazy,
but it's really a great time to just talk and unwind together.
Before your big evening together, slip him a note or two into his
briefcase, his underwear drawer, etc., telling him how much you
are looking forward to tonight, and how much you love and
appreciate him. It's always great to make sure he sees the
note when you're not around... it creates excitement and
anticipation for you're date later that day!
~emommieNatalie |
Question 2
from emommie "Jane Doe":
My husband and I make a point to go out on dates about once
a month. We usually end up going out to dinner, but we're
having trouble finding things to talk about. Usually all we
can think of to chat about is things having to do with our two
young kids. I'd really like to talk about other things when
we're out together, but WHAT??? |
Our
Advice:
Before you and your husband go out on your date come up
with a topic. Just anything, like the craziest thing that
you have done, your happiest moment, the most fun thing you like
to do, things you like to do but never get to, etc. Then,
when you're out on your date just start a conversation about it.
It'll open up so many other doors of communication. Once you
get to talking about things like that, you might not be able to
stop! Another thing that you could try is doing something
other than going out to dinner. Maybe take a long walk
afterward or have a cup of coffee beforehand, or just do something
that the two of you have NEVER done together. It is so neat
to try new things together. Give it a try! Most
importantly, HAVE FUN!!! :o) ~emommieLashawna |
Question 3
from emommie "Jane Doe":
My significant other is moving out of state (2½ hrs away) What do I do?? I love and want to be with him but I can't be in a long distance relationship. I tried once before and it failed.
Help!!! |
|
Our Advice
I think the first thing you need to do is evaluate why the previous
out of state relationship failed. I would imagine that the
distance was really not the problem. It could have been more
like lack of trust on one or both of your parts. Perhaps
magnified by the separation. The second thing you need to
realize is that just like you shouldn't compare your partner with
the men you've dated in the past, neither should you compare your
relationship. I would venture to guess that a positive
attitude is essential in making this work. That said, let's
get down to some tips.
I managed to survive being separated from my husband several
times. Once, before we were married, I had an internship that
kept us about 110 miles apart. We did manage to see each other
at least every other weekend. I also managed to survive 9½
weeks without him just last summer. How did we do it?
Well, it took significant effort on both of our parts.
First and foremost, trust is essential. If you or he
constantly worry about the other's fidelity (or lack of it) every
time you are separated, this will be torture. Discuss the
worries before he leaves. Get them out in the open, deal with
them and then move on. You either trust someone or you
don't. If you find you don't trust someone, figure out why and
try to resolve that issue. If you can't, then I hate to say
this but the relationship might be doomed regardless of
proximity. It would be just a matter of time.
Keeping the romance alive from a distance
just takes effort and a good imagination. First, as far as
effort goes, make time to get together. 2½ hours isn't too
far so try to make the effort to go on a date at least every other
weekend. Between the times you're able to get together, use
telephone calls, email and chat rooms to communicate. Mail
letters to one another send care packages. All these things
let the other know that they are foremost in your mind.
Another important thing to do is try to
get out and do something fun. Don't stay cooped up at
hitting the check mail button on your email program or waiting by
the phone. This waiting and pining will only breed
resentment. "I'm sitting here wasting away waiting for
him to call...he should be too..." That's not going to
help. If you both decide that bedtime is when you'll call
and talk, then catch a movie with friends and call when you get
back.
You can make this work. It will
take effort of course, but anything worthwhile does. Good
luck.
~emommieNoelle
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